holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
