You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
