we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
