Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
