I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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