How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
