Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
