I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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