There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
