i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
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