Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
