direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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