it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
