last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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