im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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