Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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