I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
