Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize