Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
