can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize