How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
