I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
