is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
