I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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