Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
