it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
