exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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