Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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