Will you blow on my dice?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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