Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
