besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
