Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
