I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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