So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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