You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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