we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
