Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
