i don't plan on having that self control this summer
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
