why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
