im having a threesome with these popsicles
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
