you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize