You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
