Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
