i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
