did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
