Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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