All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
