Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize