I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize