you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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