I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
