Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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