apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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