well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
