What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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