I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
