alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
