I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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