Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
