the condom got lost in my hair
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
